The Sweetest Thing

UK Release Date: 30th August 2002

A girl finds she is forced to educate herself on the etiquette of wooing the opposite sex when she finally meets Mr. Right (www.imdb.com).

Director: Roger Kumble (Cruel Intentions)

Starring: Cameron Diaz, Christina Applegate, Selma Blair

There's nothing sweet about this thing. This movie is derogatory to women. Cameron Diaz is part of a hapless trio of single women who're looking for Mr. Right Now, rather than Mr. Right. They're a bad influence on their viewers. Cameron Diaz and Christina Applegate float their way through a loose. mediocre storyline; a trip to see Diaz's (potential) love of her life, and once and for all grow up. Silly, cumbersome acts are played out, including Diaz getting a dick in the eye, Blair ending up with a (particular) piercing stuck between her teeth and the three of them pretending to orgasm in a restaurant, which then turns in to a cabaret act. None of this drives the storyline, but instead furthers their incomprehensible attitude towards life in their 30's. Ridiculous.

1/5

Despicable Me

UK Release Date: 15th October 2010

When a criminal mastermind uses a trio of orphan girls as pawns for a grand scheme, he finds their love is profoundly changing him for the better (www.imdb.com).

Directors: Pierre Coffin, Chris Renaud

Starring: Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand, Julie Andrews, Will Arnett, Kristen Wiig, Danny McBride, Jack McBrayer

What's not to love about Despicable Me? There's Gru (Carell), the evil villain being ousted by another evil villain. He revels in others misfortunes, which is sadistically just as funny for us. There's also the three adorable sisters who're fostered by Gru, who distract him from his evil plans. And lastly, the minions. Oh, the minions! Millions of small, yellow, goggle-eyed minions. They are what make Despicable Me such a sensation. Just like the little sisters, the minions are lovable and funny. Universal's animation has captured the hearts of many with great originality. This is a cartoon movie with plenty to like for all ages.

4.5/5 

Black Sea

Release Date: 5th September 2014

In order to make good with his former employers, a submarine captain takes a job with a shadowy backer to search the depths of the Black Sea for a submarine rumored to be loaded with gold (www.imdb.com).

Director: Kevin Macdonald (The Last King of Scotland, State of Play, The Eagle)

Starring: Jude Law, Scoot McNairy, Ben Mendelsohn

Black Sea is a movie with a mixture of genres, never quite settling on one or the other. A bawdy action-adventure turns in to a political thriller before swiftly moving on to an epic fight for survival. This does not help its characters one bit. The two most famous of actors, the ones with the biggest bravados, are completely off key. Jude Law, the captain of the submarine and its expedition, goes from hard-as-steel authoritarian to crazy-for-the-gold man of decadence. His band of brothers, half British, half Russian, turn on each other for a bigger split of the gold that they're attempting to plunder. The man who starts it off, and the other big bravado, is Ben Mendelsohn. He switches from thug to nice boy to thug again, depending on the other man's background. Black Sea is a predictable deep sea disaster, one that has neither the claustrophobic feeling expected in a submarine or an immense fear of the ocean.

2/5

Say When (Laggies)

UK Release Date: 7th November 2014

In the throes of a quarter-life crisis, Megan panics when her boyfriend proposes, then, taking an opportunity to escape for a week, hides out in the home of her new friend, 16-year-old Annika, who lives with her world-weary single dad (www.imdb.com).

Director: Lynn Shelton (Your Sister's Sister)

Starring: Keira Knightley, Chloe Grace Moretz, Sam Rockwell, Ellie Kemper

A young-looking-for-her-age Keira Knightley suffers with Peter Pan syndrome, running away from responsibilities. When marriage becomes an option, she bolts from her fiance, hiding from him at a new friend's place. This friend is a high-schooler (Moretz), well under Knightley's age but level with her maturity. Comfort's hard to come by in Say When (that's Laggies in America), especially in its lead lady. It does, however, come from Moretz's dad Sam Rockwell. He's the heart and soul amongst a barren wasteland of stale, lifeless characters. This is a romantic-comedy with little romance and hardly any comedy (unless it comes from Rockwell). When romance does come, it's almost over, and whoever's stuck it through to the end probably doesn't care.

2/5

Ted

UK Release Date: 1st August 2012

As the result of a childhood wish, John Bennett's teddy bear, Ted, came to life and has been by John's side ever since - a friendship that's tested when Lori, John's girlfriend of four years, wants more from their relationship (www.imdb.com).

Director: Seth Macfarlane

Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Seth Macfarlane, Giovanni Ribisi

Even the most sophisticated of people can have their immature days. Their isn't a soul out there who doesn't have a childish materialistic possession or hobby. Ted (mostly) shows how difficult is to part with it... via a talking bear. Wahlberg's character John Bennett is more man-child than sensible adult. On one side his (often) lovable fuzz-ball best friend Ted (Seth Macfarlane) is a bad influence on him. On the other side his girlfriend of four years (Mila Kunis) wants them to move further in their relationship. Ted's story is about friendship and how far that friendship can be pushed to the limit, and push others away. Wahlberg's a funny front-man, (he proved how comical he can be in The Other Guys), Seth Macfarlane has more difficulty conveying jokes through the animated toy. Thankfully most soar. There's a lot of filler jokes to bulk up the running time, and the humour can be crass, rude and often bawdy. Being a fan of Macfarlane's popular adult-cartoon Family Guy helps, but understandably his humour isn't for everyone.

3.5/5

Jurassic World

UK Release Date: 11th June 2015

Twenty-two years after the events of Jurassic Park, Isla Nublar now features a fully functioning dinosaur theme park, Jurassic World, as originally envisioned by John Hammond. After 10 years of operation and visitor rates declining, in order to fulfill a corporate mandate, a new attraction is created to re-spark visitors' interest, which backfires horribly (www.imdb.com).

Director: Colin Trevorrow (Safety Not Guaranteed)

Starring: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Vincent D'Onofrio, Ty Simpkins, Irrfan Khan, Nick Robinson, Jake Johnson, BD Wong, Judy Greer

Dinosaurs are making a comeback, and there isn't a better time for it. 14 years have passed since the disappointing JPIII, so expectations are mixed. Has all been forgiven and forgiven, or will Universal's biggest franchise crumble? Thankfully the first route's taken, with a movie that's bold, clever and fresh. Jurassic World pays tribute to the original, sending waves of sentimentality and nostalgia down our spines. It also manages to be widely entertaining, accommodating new concepts that will satisfy fans old and new. Jurassic World smashes our way of thinking into the dust. A theme park is (actually) open. Park goers have declined in the last 10 years (believe it or not) and velociraptors are being trained to obey by an ex-navy marine. There are two main protagonists; one crunches numbers, relying on excellent statistics to keep the park up and running (Dallas Bryce Howard), the other believes in the natural order of things (Chris Pratt). Both portray contradictory feelings towards the park's new creation, the Indominus-Rex. Howard believes genetic mutation is the step forward to success, whilst Pratt sees this creature as an undefined project. A political stance is at the foreground of this movie, as well as a dino-disaster, a subtle romance, an all-out actioner and a rescue mission to boot. All sub-plots file in nicely with the bigger picture, and flow in nicely with what else is in store for the franchise. This is a big blockbuster movie. Expect even bigger things to come.

4.5/5

San Andreas

UK Release Date: 28th May 2015

In the aftermath of a massive earthquake in California, a rescue-chopper pilot makes a dangerous journey across the state in order to rescue his daughter.

Director: Brad Peyton (Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore, Journey 2: The Mysterious Island)

Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Carla Gugino, Alexandra Daddario, Ioan Gruffudd, Hugo Johnstone-Burt, Art Parkinson, Paul Giamatti

Disaster movies are a thing of the past. Their time was up when the millennium hit. Film companies have tried and failed since then (2012, Pompeii, Into the Storm). Nothing has made a lasting impression since the late 90's. San Andreas is an epic disaster movie of extreme proportions. Special effects have hit the roof. The earthquake (or earthquakes for that matter) that hits San Francisco is phenomenal. Tectonic plates shift, skyscrapers collapse and the body count is beyond imagination. Fire & Rescue good guy Dwayne Johnson's mission is to find his soon-to-be ex-wife and daughter who're grounded in different parts of California. A lot of saving's to be done before he can rest. Remember Sandra Bullock in Gravity? Once you think she's safe a new complication arises. Same goes for Johnson. San Andreas possesses the looks, not the texture. Most characters are underdeveloped, and every single woman's a damsel in dire need of rescuing. There's only one moment of compassion and sorrow, and that comes at a time when Johnson and ex-wife-to-be Carla Gugino should be rushing to save their daughter (Daddario). Style engulfs substance here. There's enough material injected to want them to survive, no matter how predictable events become. On a positive note, the set-pieces are at maximum intensity and Paul Giamatti's earthquake expert nails home the importance of preparation.  

3/5

The Fault in Our Stars

UK Release Date: 19th June 2014

Two teens, both who have different cancer conditions, fall in love after meeting at a cancer support group (www.imdb.com).

Director: Josh Boone (Stuck in Love)

Starring: Shailene Woodley, Ansel Elgort, Nat Wolff, Laura Dern, Willem Dafoe

Cancer is a wobbly subject. A complete taboo. Western cinemas have covered very little, maybe because it's an illness we like to brush under the carpet. The Fault in Our Stars guides us on a young couple's journey of illness, romance and perseverance. The story is the toughest there is to watch. Shailene Woodley and Ansel Elgort put in some brave, compelling performances, ones that are warming and emotional. TFiOS covers how it effects others as well. It's first half is sweet and endearing. The second is nothing short of sad. Expect tears to flow by the end.

3.5/5 

Sinister

UK Release Date: 5th October 2012

A true-crime writer finds a cache of 8mm home movies films that suggest the murder he is currently researching is the work of a serial killer whose career dates back to the 1960s (www.imdb.com).

Director: Scott Derrickson (The Exorcism of Emily Rose, The Day the Earth Stood Still)

Starring: Ethan Hawke, Juliet Rylance, Fred Dalton Thompson, James Ransone, Michael Hall D'Addario, Clare Foley

There isn't many actors that can stand alone in a horror movie. Ethan Hawke manages just this. Although his character has a family, Ellison (Hawke) spends his waking hours in solitary confinement, or rather, his office, writing a book about a murder that happened in the house he currently resides. His wife and children are kept out of the loop, therefore, they are the ones to suffer. A sinister presence lurks in the shadows, waiting to tear Ellison's family apart. This is gorgeously shot. Ironically the nasty, scary hubbub happens when the sun's gone down. The house is populated by shadows and dim lights. You'd think Ellison would turn a light or two on. The story is strong; governed by a murderer that's been killing since the 60's. It's down to Ellison and Ellison alone to discover the truth. 8mm videos are his only source, and they're highly disturbing, and not for the faint-hearted. Sinister's shocks come with such perfect precision. It's scary, but mostly jumpy. Hawke is superb, becoming a nervous wreck the deeper in to this case he gets. Liqueur is his only company because his family manage to sleep through all the chaos that occurs. Sinister is a great horror, and will be remembered for its shocking material and creepy killer.

4/5

Run, Fatboy, Run

UK Release Date: 7th September 2007

Five years after jilting his pregnant fiancée on their wedding day, out-of-shape Dennis decides to run a marathon to win her back (www.imdb.com).

Director: David Schwimmer (Trust)

Starring: Simon Pegg, Thandie Newton, Hank Azaria, Dylan Moran

Simon Pegg shows the world that he's a capable man in a lead role. He's an ordinary, down-to-earth kind of guy, someone you'd love to have as a friend. His character, Dennis, starts off the opposite. He runs out of his fiancee Libby (Newton) on their wedding day, whilst she has a bun in the oven! How are we to relate to someone as distasteful as he? Surprisingly he pulls it off just by being himself. 5 years on, Dennis tries to win back Libby's affection by taking part in a marathon, and competing with her new man, Whit (Azaria). Director David Schwimmer (yes, Ross from Friends!) has spent time developing Dennis, but no one else. Whit has all the appealing traits (money, power, mysterious man from another country), but not the personality. He's the cocky American all us Brits are destined to hate. Newton and Azaria are underdeveloped characters. Schwimmer's potential gets bogged down by laughs and the cameos which don't quite hit the spot they're aiming for. Pegg is brilliant, and his best friend in-role Dylan Moran's on par. R,FB,R is fun, guaranteed to crack a few smiles. No matter how it ends, Pegg is still the winner. 

3/5

Spy

UK Release Date: 5th June 2015

A desk-bound CIA analyst volunteers to go undercover to infiltrate the world of a deadly arms dealer, and prevent diabolical global disaster (www.imdb.com).

Director: Paul Feig (Bridesmaids, The Heat)

Starring: Melissa McCarthy, Jason Statham, Rose Byrne, Jude Law, Miranda Hart, Bobby Cannavale

Spy is a comedy for those who like to have a laugh and just be plain silly. Paul Feig's Bridesmaids was the start of something special. 2013's The Heat was a successful dive in to the overused buddy-cop genre. Spy is just as engaging as these, and carries just as many laughs. Melissa McCarthy has perfected her comedy satire (her character's far less irritable than those in Tammy and Identity Thief), in a role that fits her personality. McCarthy shows a combination of frailty and bravery as a desk jockey for the CIA. She's the eyes and ears of agent Bradley Fine (Jude Law). When all agents are compromised, Susan (McCarthy) enter the field. Placing her undercover reaps some of the best laughs of 2015 so far. McCarthy may be on fire, but it's another particular person who crashes in like a blaze of glory: Jason Statham. His super-spy gives it large, reeling off all the brave acts he's committed ('I watched the woman I love get tossed from a plane and hit by another plane mid-air. I drove a car off a freeway on top of a train while it was on fire. Not the car, I was on fire.'), when in actual fact he's a clumsy buffoon. He makes life very difficult for Susan, which, for us, is a treasure to watch. When he's off screen he's wanted back. When he's on stage we don't want him to leave. Miranda Hart, Rose Byrne and Jude Law also add flare in one way or another. Spy is huge fun and a barrel of laughs. Even with its cliche setups and stereotypical characters, Spy doesn't try to be anything other than entertaining, and for that it receives great credit.       

4.5/5

Man Up

UK Release Date: 29th May 2015

A single woman who's mistaken for a stranger's blind date, leads to her finding the perfect boyfriend (www.imdb.com).

Director: Ben Palmer (The Inbetweeners Movie)

Starring: Simon Pegg, Lake Bell, Rory Kinnear, Ken Stott

Man Up - pretty ironic when it's a woman who's asked to. It's also a unique experience, crushing usual romantic-comedy expectations. Nancy (Lake Bell) lacks the courage and ambition to find a partner, so naturally it (or he) falls into her lap when she least expects it. 'Accidentally' taking another woman's blind date was uncharted territory until now. Lake is an all-round compelling watch, dappling in awkwardness as she continues this facade. Pegg is the perfect man alongside Bell; his dialogue rolls off the tongue with apparent ease. He's a far cry from heaven, surpassing Bell and her reserved characteristics. That's not to say she's bad. In fact it's the complete opposite. She's a crack up. Together they're faultless. There are few minor incisions (oddball support character for one), but not enough to damage Man Up's beauty. It goes to show, to some extent, that love can be found over one eventful date.

4/5

As Above, So Below

UK Release Date: 29th August 2014

When a team of explorers ventures into the catacombs that lie beneath the streets of Paris, they uncover the dark secret that lies within this city of the dead (www.imdb.com).

Director: John Erick Dowdle (Quarantine, Devil)

Starring: Perdita Weeks, Ben Feldman, Edwin Hodge, Francois Civil

Handheld photography has been blown significantly out of proportion since The Blair Witch Project. If the so called 'found footage' is interesting enough and the handler isn't swinging the camera like a lasso then we're possibly in for a treat. As Above, So Below is the opposite. Dizzness, nausea and a hazy picture. The team of explorers, led by Scarlett (Perdita Weeks), takes them what feels like an age to encounter the celestial. The shots are quick and snappy, so the small glimpses are allowed. If you blink you'll miss the exciting parts. A small budget limits director Dowdle. The catacombs are full of unlimited filming possibilities, instead we're succumbed to murky images, a tedious front-woman and laughs where there should be frights. As Above, So Below's intriguing when bad tides hit the group. It at least grabs enough curiosity to see it out to its blank, scrappy ending.

2/5 

 

Snatch

UK Release Date: 1st September 2000

Unscrupulous boxing promoters, violent bookmakers, a Russian gangster, incompetent amateur robbers, and supposedly Jewish jewelers fight to track down a priceless stolen diamond (www.imdb.com).

Director: Guy Ritchie (Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Revolver, RocknRolla)

Starring: Brad Pitt, Jason Statham, Benicio Del Toro, Dennis Farina, Rade Serbedzija, Vinnie Jones, Alan Ford

Snatch is Guy Ritchie's second British masterpiece, taking the good out of Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and creating a movie to match it. The narrative is hugely similar; the black comedy still pushes the envelope with brute force, a solid script delivers an intricate cast of gangsters, thugs and druggies fighting over one item: a priceless jewel. What's new? Brad Pitt as an Irish gypsy. His accent's incomprehensible, an exaggeration on a stereotype we all love to hate. Ritchie knows his British stereotypes, from the gypsy's and the hooligans (Vinnie Jones), to the cockneys (Alan Ford) and the greedy American (as the British see them). Ritchie does crime and slang like no other. Snatch is a tangle of great stories driven by a single outcome (think 2004's Crash). It's hilarious and just as good as Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, if not better.

4/5

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

UK Release Date: 28th August 1998

A botched card game in London triggers four friends, thugs, weed-growers, hard gangsters, loan sharks and debt collectors to collide with each other in a series of unexpected events, all for the sake of weed, cash and two antique shotguns (www.imdb.com).

Director: Guy Ritchie (Snatch, Revolver, RocknRolla)

Starring: Jason Flemyng, Dexter Fletcher, Nick Moran, Jason Statham, Vinnie Jones, P.H. Moriarty

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels is a British film with bona fide, British humour. A bunch of bombastic, mini-stories are unfathomably linked by weed, money and two rare, expensive shotguns. Not the kind of story you hear on a daily basis. Every thug, youth, gangster and pot-head gets equal screen-time. Four Londoners bite off more than they can chew; Eddy (Moran) owes some serious dollar to gangster/porn shop owner Hatchet Harry (Moriarty) after losing in a poker-style card game. Tom (Flemyng), Soap (Fletcher), Bacon (Statham) and Eddy have 500k to find in a week, or they're dead-meat. Their plan? Snatch money from drug dealers who plan to snatch money from drug dealers. Who's involved? An ex-footballer who pulls off thug-life considerably well (Vinnie Jones), a real life bare-knuckle fighter (Lenny McLean), a Russian with anger issues and a couple of naive Scousers that spearhead every scene they're in. The conclusion is catastrophic but highly engrossing; Lock, Stock's black comedy hits all the funny bones in the right places, even with its mildly haphazard narrative. This film is a defining British classic, with an ending more sensational than The Italian Job.

4/5

Tomorrowland

UK Release Date: 22nd May 2015

Bound by a shared destiny, a teen bursting with scientific curiosity and a former boy-genius inventor embark on a mission to unearth the secrets of a place somewhere in time and space that exists in their collective memory (www.imdb.com).

Director: Brad Bird (The Incredibles, Ratatouille, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol) 

Starring: George Clooney, Britt Robertson, Hugh Laurie, Raffey Cassidy

Tomorrowland should be Disney's new, original charter. Granted there's a lot of potential here, but there are minor burdens that stop it from challenging big blockbusters like The Avengers and The Fast and Furious films. Let's start with the negatives, because there's also a lot to love about TLand. Firstly is style over substance. Some areas of this created world are scrappy, but overall the majority is clean, smooth and aesthetically pleasing. Assumptions can be made as to whether the studio has spent too much money on how it looks and not enough on material. Secondly is the story's layout. Too much time is spent getting George Clooney and Britt Robertson to Tomorrowland, so the finale is unsurprisingly rushed. The only explanation is it's a build up to another film. It'd be a shame to see such a beautiful world go to waste. Plus, clocking in at nearly two hours, it should be a little snappier if they want to grab the attention of all age ranges. Lasty but not least is Athena. She's irritable to the point of exhaustion. Now on to the good stuff. Clooney is on fine form, standing out well and driving the other characters on with his experience. The film is crisp and exhilarating, dominating an industry struggling for new ideas.  There are some incredibly lavish set-pieces. One is a long take of Casey (Robertson) exploring TLand in all its glory, another involves the Eiffel Tower splitting into two to make room for a spaceship. We know what Brad Bird (Mission Imposible: Ghost Protocol) and cinematographer Claudio Miranda (Life of Pi, Oblivion) are capable of, so why not use their abilities for TLand2?

3.5/5

The Family

UK Release Date: 22nd November 2013

The Manzoni family, a notorious mafia clan, is relocated to Normandy, France under the witness protection program, where fitting in soon becomes challenging as their old habits die hard (www.imdb.com).

Director: Luc Besson (The Fifth Element, The Lady)

Starring: Robert De Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer, Dianna Agron, John D'Leo, Tommy Lee Jones

The Family, starring Robert De Niro and Michelle Pfeiffer, is a comedy without the comedy. The juice is low and the tedium is high, mainly due to repetitive and monotonous music laid over every scene. Imagine Danny Elfman on marijuana. The story is smooth going; Robert de Niro and his wife, son and daughter (Pfieffer, Agron, D'Leo) were a respected family in the Mafia, that is, until he snitches on the Don and selected others. For years they have bounced from location to location, keeping out of reach of those who want him and his family dead. We're with them in rural France, a small town with so little to do. Tommy Lee Jones is the FBI agent 'protecting' them, although they don't need it, as they begin to show us through the middle act. Blending in isn't their forte. Belle (Agron) beats up a high-schooler, Maggie (Pfeiffer) blows up the local convenience shop and Fred (De Niro, who's real name is Giovanni in the film) gets angry with a baseball bat. They are loose cannons, but their out-of-sort habit are not taken full advantage of. The music will grate, the script is on the cusp of mediocrity and the cast are dropped in to placid roles. Of all the films that De Niro stars as a gangster (and there are plenty of them), The Family is not one to start on, unless you're starting from worst to best. It's true that you 'can express the entire range of human emotions with a single word', and that word is 'f**k'.

2.5/5

Parkland

UK Release Date: 22nd November 2013

A recounting of the chaotic events that occurred at Dallas' Parkland Hospital on the day U.S. President John F. Kennedy was assassinated (www.imdb.com).

Director: Peter Landesman

Starring: Zac Efron, Marcia Gay Harden, Billy Bob Thornton, Ron Livingston, James Badge Dale, Jacki Weaver, Paul Giamatti

Many will still have theories rattling round their brains as to why JFK was shot dead during his time in Dallas. Parkland, named after the hospital he was taken to, is as accurate an account anyone is going to get, without leading to speculations. This is a telling of a gruesome story, one that will stick with everyone forever. We all know the end result, but there's only a handful of people who saw it all happen, who could keep piece it all together. There are three main individuals Parkland follows; Dr. Charles Carrico (Efron), the lead physician who treats JFK, Forrest Sorrels (Thornton), the Secret Service agent leading the investigation and Abraham Zapruder (Giamatti), the only man to have recorded footage of the incident. It's a tough ride, watching all 93 minutes. There are no surprises, but director Peter Landesman has us reletntlessly hooked. 1963 was a tough year for everyone connected, and Parkland goes to show just how bad it was for all.

3.5/5