Need for Speed

***
Release Date: March 12th 2014

Fresh from prison, a street racer who was framed by a wealthy business associate joins a cross country race with revenge in mind. His ex-partner, learning of the plan, places a massive bounty on his head as the race begins.

Director: Scott Waugh (Act of Valor)

Starring: Aaron Paul, Dominic Cooper, Imogen Poots, Michael  Keaton

Need for Speed is like the baby brother to the Fast & Furious franchise. Its maturity level is slightly lower than that of the franchise we know so well. NFS hasn't had the best start if it hopes to go the same way, but then again F&F had/has its own flaws.

Breaking Bad's very own Aaron Paul makes his lead debut here. He's Tobey Marshall, falsely accused of killing his friend during a street race when it was rival Dino Brewster (Cooper) who left him in the dust to suffer the consequences. After a two year prison sentence, Tobey is out and looking for revenge.

In order to enter a 'top secret' street race, Tobey needs to attract the attention of the guy behind its organisation. Known as Monarch (Keaton), he sits in what can only be a room in his own house. The police have no idea who he is. He's untraceable (somehow).

Tobey is allowed to use a Mustang for this race that him and his crew helped restore for Brewster before the inevitable imprisonment. The assistant of the businessman who bought the Mustang is along for the ride. Julia (Poots), impresses with her dapper accent (it's real) and knowledge of cars. 'Never judge a girl by her Gucci boots', she says to Tobey.

This leads to one, fatal point. Director Scott Waugh does a grand job with the flashy cars and the jaw-dropping stunts. There's little to no CGI, and the action is tense in most places. The problem comes from elsewhere. The storyline is weak, controlled by a rigid script and heavy dialogue.

Then there's the characters. Cooper's Brewster has jumped out of the definition of cliche and Finn (Rami Malek) is part of a lengthy scene where he quits his job and decides to walk out naked. A little funny, a little strange, a little waste of time. At least we can rely on Aaron Paul's silent lead to keep things interesting.

Overview: If you're a huge car fanatic then this will please. Go in for what you see, not what you hear.     

The Man with the Iron Fists

**
Release Date: December 7th 2012

On the hunt for a fabled treasure of gold, a band of warriors, assassins, and a rogue British soldier descend upon a village in feudal China, where a humble blacksmith looks to defend himself and his fellow villagers.

Director: RZA

Starring: Russell Crowe, Lucy Liu, RZA, Dave Bautista, Rick Yune

Quentin Tarantino presents: The Man with the Iron Fists. He's either had a lot of input into this film, or RZA and producer Eli Roth have mimicked his work, and Tarantino approves. Either way, this cinematic copycat cannot pull off what Tarantino has done so well for many years; create strong, original screenplays.

And try as they might, RZA and Roth's screenplay should be a simple one from paper to screen, but ends up being a mess. A small town surrounded by a dense jungle plays host to several gangs. Word gets out that there's a shipment of the emperor's gold passing through within the next couple of days. The Geminis and the Lions set out to obtain it, and destroy the other in the process.

Stuck in the middle this is the Blacksmith (RZA). Both gangs ask (or rather force) him to make weapons. He abides, and in doing so, causes the chaos that follows. Other weird and not so wonderful characters include sex maniac Jack Knife (Crowe), brothel owner Madam Blossom (Liu), Brass Body (literally as it comes, played by well known WWE star Dave Bautista) and brother of the Lions Zen Yi, The X-Blade (Yune). All of them have a feud with one of the others, and apart the booty the other thing on their minds is vengeance.

Where TMWTIF goes wrong? It's supposed to be a humble abode to martial arts classics, but all that's on display is cheesy, dull choreography. The storyline isn't gripping. Too many names and faces spoil the brothel. The soundtrack heightens the fact that all is not real. Whoever knew rap existed in ancient China? In fantasy, anything and everything is logical.

Russell Crowe and Lucy Liu have very small parts. To me it's wasted talent. Money could have been saved making this a better film.

Overview: Big credit to RZA for trying. There's moments that recall House of Flying Daggers and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, but TMWTIF never reaches new heights or stands out from the crowd.    

The Hangover Part III

**
Release Date: May 24th 2013

When one of their own is kidnapped by an angry gangster, the Wolf Pack must track down Mr. Chow, who has escaped from prison and is on the run.

Director: Todd Phillips (Old School, The Hangover, Due Date, The Hangover Part II)

Starring: Zach Galifianakis, Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Ken Jeong, John Goodman, Heather Graham, Justin Bartha, Melissa McCarthy

The Hangover trilogy should not be a trilogy. The outcome of part III was an outcome I'm sure we never expected. Do they forget the previous evening's events? Is their even drunken debauchery or a hangover? No is the answer.

Alan (Galifianakis) is the centre of attention in this film. After the death of Alan's father, the other guys in the Wolfpack, Phil (Cooper), Stu (Helms) and Doug (Bartha), decide to take Alan to a mental institute to deal with his health. Along the way, a gangster (Goodman) kidnaps Doug and informs the others that they need to find Mr. Chow (Jeong). He owes the gangster a big deal of money, and they're the only connection to him without causing a stir.

We spend the majority of the film following the Wolfpack on their expedition. Nothing memorable happens. There's no character development, Stu and Phil are on the sidelines, constantly behind Alan's lead. To make things worse, Mr. Chow has more screen time than the Stu and Phil. Ken Jeong's character is neither funny or likeable. This was a risky decision for Todd Phillips and his writers, and it didn't pay off. It's not Jeong's acting capability that's the issue here. It's about placing a character in the fold that's annoying and not funny at all.

No laughs come from alpha-male-turned-beta-male Phil. No laughs come from Stu, whose face remains intact this time. A few come from Alan, but he's been scripted over-the-top shenanigans. A great cameo comes from Melissa McCarthy. She breaths some much needed life into the scene she's in; picking on her mum with Alan chipping in, and the two of them sharing awkward moments is pure delight. What a shame it's short-lived.

Overview: A very disappointing ending to a trilogy. It ends just as things start to get interesting. What happens in the end credits is where the story should have begun. 

The Big Year

**
Release Date: December 2nd 2011

Two bird enthusiasts try to defeat the cocky, cutthroat world record holder in a year-long bird-spotting competition.

Director: David Frankel (The Devil Wears Prada, Marley & Me, Hope Springs)

Starring: Jack Black, Steve Martin, Owen Wilson, Rosamund Pike, Jim Parsons, Rashida Jones

It's easy to say that The Big Year is one of a kind. How many films can you say you've watched that involve bird fanatics? Probably none.

With an impressive array of comedians (Black, Wilson and Martin), there's a lot to be expected from this film. Like belly aching laughs followed by uncontrollable crying. Instead, we found out that bird watching holds little comic value. This is more a light drama with a few smile in between.

Brad (Blac) and Stu (Martin) strive to become champion bird watcher by participating in the Big Year: to see as many birds as you can within a calender year. Neither of them tells the other or any one else of what they're doing. They make sure that existing champion Kenny Bostick (Wilson) is unaware of their plans.

The only mentionable funny bit see's the trio watching two eagles make their romantic descent. Two of them miss their wives. The last one is left silent.

Bostick is the most interesting character of the three, always chipping off his wife Jessica (Pike) whenever the opportunity arises to see a rare bird. He's in fact a very likeable 'villain' (if that's what he can be called. He may have a slight cocky attitude, but there's no reasoning behind his passion and drive, or for Brad and Stu.

There's an occurring theme running from the beginning, one that spells it out for you when you meet Jessie. Maybe The Big Year should have ended for one before the year started.

Overview: The Big Year plays it safe all the way through to the end. The three comedy legends aren't as strong as we've seen in previous work. The scenery is beautiful, but jumping from one place to another to find a bird and repeat can be monotonous. 

300: Rise of an Empire

****
Release Date: March 7th 2014

Greek general Themistocles leads the charge against invading Persian forces led by mortal-turned-god Xerxes and Artemisia, vengeful commander of the Persian navy.

Director: Noam Murro

Starring: Sullivan Stapleton, Eva Green, Lena Headey, Rodrigo Santoro 

You can tell after the first 5 minutes that a big presence is missing. Don't get me wrong, Sullivan Stapleton, who plays general Themistocles, does a grand job in a lead role, but coming off the back of Gerard Butler's (as mighty as he was) is a hard thing to do.

It was a big wonder whether ROAE was going to be a prequel or a sequel. It is neither. Film critics dub it a parallequel. Lena Headey's Queen Gorgo (who's in the first one), is our voiceover this time, telling us the tale of Themistocles and his battle against the Persian fleet (this coincides with Leonidas' battle). Persian general Artemisia (Eva Green) stands in his way. God-king Xerxes' history is told, so is Artemisia's. We finally know why Xerxes has such hate for the Greeks.

The overall template used in 300 has been copied and pasted. Although the scenery is just as coarse and smooth as the first installment, it never cements new ideas. 3D cinema didn't exist when 300 was released. Adding it to Rise of an Empire means the blood, guts and gore are full-frontal. Blood spatters everywhere and limbs fly off never to be seen again. 

Rise of an Empire only furthers the aspect of the few against the many. There's not so few as three hundred this time round, but it's not for the lack of trying to amass the numbers. Themistocles approaches Queen Gorgo to see if the Spartans will fight as one with the other Greek nations. As you can tell this doesn't work in his favour.  

So we are left with the Athenian general and his band of Greeks, who feel somewhat like the leftover substitutes compared to the Spartans we're used to seeing. And try as they might, Themistocles and co. are cracking fighters. 'You fight much harder than you fuck' mocks Artemisia. An over-the-top scene with Themistocles riding a horse along the fleet is not just insane but fun to watch.

Overview: ROAE ends with a third likely to happen. If it's goes by the history, then there's still some wrapping up to do. You're likely to enjoy this if you loved the first. 

300

****
Release Date: March 23rd 2007

King Leonidas and a force of 300 men fight the Persians at Thermopylae in 480 B.C.

Director: Zack Snyder (Man of Steel, Sucker Punch, Watchmen)

Starring: Gerard Butler, Lena Headey, Dominic West, David Wenham, Vincent Regan, Michael Fassbender

Is 300 vastly over-the-top? Or an accurate account of the battle of Thermopylae? A bit of both really. In history, more than 300 men went to defend the pass against the huge Persian army. It numbered around 7000, made up of Spartans, Athenians, Thespians and Thebans. So what makes a better story for the screen? A small contingency that's vastly outnumbered of course! It's an adaption of Frank Miller's comic of the same name. It's neither real or fantasy, it sits somewhere in the middle.

King Leonidas (the very epic Gerard Butler) is aware of the Persians attempting to invade Greece. He decides to take 300 Spartans with him, to defend the only pass that the Persians can take to get to them. In his band of buffed up warriors is David Wenham (known for his character Faramir in Lord of the Rings) and a slightly younger Michael Fassbender. You might, like me, forget he was even in this!

300 cuts every now and then from the 300's defense to Queen Gorgo's (Lean Headey) attempt to persuade the Spartan council to send out the Spartan army. It breaks up the momentum of the battles, which is what I wanted to see a lot more of, but without a functioning storyline there's no relating to the characters and their way of thinking.

The action makes the story engrossing. There's no doubt that 300 is beautifully shot. It's had the same level of post-production work as Robert Rogriguez's Sin City. Snyder uses slow motion incredibly well, emphasising the bloody and gorey moments. The CGI is simply stunning.

There's a mixture of cheesy, overblown, incomprehensible, ironic feelings about certain parts of 300. Like Gerard Butler's beard. Or the weirdest sex scene you'll ever see. Or a traitorous hunchback. Or grotesque looking oracles. Or ridiculous six packs (eight if you're the King). Does anyone stop to think that being lightly garbed and carrying nothing but a spear doesn't bode well for a long trip? Either way, these are minor issues. As long as we don't start believing this was all true...

Overview: An epic dose of sheer crazy entertainment. Now try and shout 'this is Sparta!' with as much passion as Leonidas.